People change, don't they?

Throughout my schooling year in 2012, I have met a lot of amazing people. I tried to get to know people, I fell for some of them, I don't even know why I did but feelings come and go so... yeah. 

And I totally got over all of my exes, which is a good thing.

I've found three amazing girls in my life. Funny how my friends actually don't like one of three girls and they keep on telling me she's a bad person. Our dads are friends, and I don't remember how we got along. Oh wait, I think it was because we both love One Direction. Hahaha. She's lovely, honestly, quite mean and sarcastic, but funny and she rarely gets upset because nothing ever bothers her, unless it has something to do with Mdm. Teng. 

The other two girls are my seniors. I've never known they are so awesome, I thank God for letting me meet and get to know them this year. I love all of them to bits, and I don't know how I can survive this year without them.

We've had memories together, and that's when we all laugh and share things that only we understand. Even the smallest joke can make us laugh at rough times, and I miss them dearly.

I just love my friends. 

Three, Two, Swag!

Your math skills are terrible.

HAHAHA. So hello again. Haven't been updating much. Too busy with life. Actually,I'm never that busy. I just don't have the time to write that much.

Life is a game. It is a game. It is? Well, I had a bad day yesterday. My brain hurts from crying. I started crying in the toilet for only God knows why. I'm quite sensitive these days. I wish I wasn't. I can handle hate, but handling stress? I'd end up crying like a baby.

I'm in love with five homosexuals,but I'm still normal. I'm perfectly normal.

So,I will update when I have time. Got to Dance UK was amazing :D the dancers... I'm jealous okay. Bye. Xxx

hello world.

Hi. Hello. Today, I'm going to talk about things I hate in school.

#1 - the girls who stare endlessly into your eyes until you feel like they're piercing your soul.
What the hell is up with that one, really? I hate stares, and I wish I had a cup of slushed ice in my hand to pour it over to your face. Staring isn't a good thing to do to other people, especially when they're the DEADLY stares.

#2 - say hello to my new boyfriend, K <3
YES, I broke up with A. Well, does it look like we were going to stay any longer before? I couldn't handle fights and fights AND JEALOUSY. I hate when the guy is overreacting and he hates me for being friends with other guys. And also because I-wasn't-myself-anymore type of crap. Oh, deal with it already. People change and second chances never really existed to me. Is that clear?

#3 - why teachers are annoying the crap out of my brain.
One day we had this quiz on our personality. I got orange. And it says I hate rules, loves freedom, make decision without thinking twice but eventually won't regret after that. OR WAS IT? Blah, blah. Blah! All of those things it said about me is true. I hate rules. So, this is why I'm relating this one to the teachers. There is one question in that quiz,

Are teachers one of the groups of people that you respect?

My answer? No. Haha, I just put no because I HATE RULES. Does that make any sense to you? Good. I don't get why we can't wear slippers to school. PMR is freaking over anyway. PASCA PMR got on my nerves. It's not only boring, it makes me feel fucked up.

Will update another things soon, bye ;)

collecting your jar of hearts?

jar of my heart.

So today, I sat for exam. Gosh, I didn't even do well. I guess. History paper took my sane away; and I was actually screaming when I saw those questions I never tend to know about. BM paper was quite easy, except for paper one and paper two part D. I ran out of time - thank God teacher gave us more time. Haaaaaachu!

My mind is still running wild. I think of things so very often, now and then - until I cannot think anymore, ache my own heart, wish for impossible things and whatever. Life is so complicated right now.

When I was just about to relax my freaked mind, I turned around to see my friend but my eyes landed on a pair of eyes that won't stop staring until I frowned at him. You see why exam is so difficult for me today. Somebody was staring at me.

Haha, and actually, he's my boyfriend. I'm being overly dramatic - oh no, I am dramatic. Stupid, head over heels in love dramatic. We kind of... fight? Is that the word? Because until now, I hadn't talk to him. I text him a while ago but he gave no reply.

I should calm down and relax. I could make coffee and let my brain free. I would run at a beach on this hot day - who the hell cares? But all those should and could and would can't help me if I won't do them.

I feel like dying. Die. Die. I want to sleep and wake up in another life where I could be happy and just straighten things up. I feel like someone burying my head in the sand.

Oh bitch ass. I need to go now. I'm tired.

much to my dismay.

People are irritating me. Perhaps going anti-social is the best thing right now. I think. Bythefreezingtitsofhers, just why can't I be happy today? Or maybe indulge with something? Something that would make me feel better. My mind is totally empty. I couldn't stop looking outside the window, freak out when I realized I hadn't drink some coffee or even drink something that would make my tongue feel sweet.

Hell I wish I was happy. I mean, now. I was never happy. I just realized that. First, the problem comes from my parents. Oh, parents have ways to make their child feel intimidated and insecurity. I have grown to parents who... well, fight a lot. Here, I know it's public but where else can I write/type it of? I hate writing, but I like typing. Writing takes so much time... In fact I hate diaries.

Now, I'm stuck between the 'group of people' who wants me to be happy. The question is, am I happy? All my laughs and smiles were not all fake, but they sure didn't mean anything of my happiness. The first part of the people is the people I call; Misjudging. Yes, hell way they did asked me to get rid of my mother. How could I? I mean she delivered me, although I wasn't always with her when I was a baby because she had some work to do. Stupid work. Sometimes, I feel the neglect of love. My brother is way better than I am, and I have to admit that I'm quite jealous of him. But oh well, he's my brother and I still love him no matter how annoying he could be anytime near my period.

The second group of people, I would call them; Too Humble. They always told me to just shut up and go with the flow. Now how can I shut up if I am a real temperamental person with high hopes and hates when someone tries to stop me from doing what I want? Heck. Sometimes, it's good to be humble. But only to your master and your God. Different people, different believes, but that doesn't mean you can be all the way racist and hurting others' feelings. For the sake of the annoying Patrick Star, don't be too humble. You could be bullied, but yet you will get blessings from God. Oh well! This is making me frustrated. Make sure to be loyal... blah.

And then, tomorrow is exam day. Oh, I am just loving how life tortures me when I'm about to get ready for something important. I hope I could concentrate. I think a lot about exams, I do. I have to keep up with exams, and I can't even drop from 49 to 48. Because I have helluva fucking good long explanations to my father if I don't keep up with my good grades. Fuck life.

I won't be updating much. I just love the feeling of pouring my bitching heart out of me. It's so hurtful. I'm fifteen and I can't believe I'm going through this. Not now. Or maybe forever. It's good life goes on. Wouldn't it be good if everybody are just so friendly with you, your life is happy and you have everything you want? Ha. I probably sound crazy by now. I need coffee. Rest. I slept at fucking five and woke up at eight. How lovely my sleep was.

Bye! :)

frust menonggeng!!!!

hahaha. blackberyyyyy sikk guna tok polah hal! geram aku. nasib ngenang nya hp bagus, mun sik dah rah sungei hp tok berenang. tadik klaie juak ngn ejad. anak bodo. sikpalaaa. malas aku. bah tido dulokkk aku, esok sekolahhhh:DDDD bye. gudnite(:

satu duak tiga sepuloh!

sik terdaya aku mok bercerita gik tok. lelah aluuu antam g skolah. sikjuak dapat apa2, nak maths tek cikgu ho sik datang, cikgu hamdi jak rajin ngajar nektok. p ckg annie ganti ckg ho tek... she teaches better than mdm. ho.

so, tek ku turun rah skolah nak, cam biasa. tp sigek jak la. senior main jeling. (AIH!) nakpahal main jeling tok? aku malas dijeling, sikmok dijeling, sikmok menjeling. mun sikpuas hati please padah. aku ada feelings. and sigek gik, nya bukan jeling jaik, mcm jeling mok tauk apa ku polah. cam marek, kedak nangga orang pelik nya nangga aku.

INGGA AKU! aku tauk la aku pelik, sikpelu nangga camya gilak. sik teringin ku. paham? heh. rosak mood aku. sukahati kau la. kau bodo. bukan aku. lgpun kau sik kenal aku (boh bebulak) bcz kau tauk aku dr org lain iaitu best friend kau nak sik suka dengan aku. kacak la nak? nya sik suka aku, denga kau gik cerita dari nya. handsome kau, nang handsome. semadi kau pompuan.

chow!

pok pek pok pek!

nang boring alu d rumah. pagi tek kluar, pegi ambik kereta daddy dr uncle, nya baruk balit mukah marek. nak aku angol tok, kenak pande boring tahap dewa time kedak tok? sepatutnya aku tido time tok tapi aku rinduk boss. boss g kl, esok balit. haha~ sikpala.

sakit burit aku dudok jak keja. mok g jog kelak sikda orang neman. Jenna g bintulu :( sikla aku dgn Leen jak. sunyi ehhh! adik pun g jamming dgn bala kazen. heiii-.-

bah, kelak update gik. sine ndak tuju geng aku time tok, haiyyyaa! 

hari tok hari ya bila bila jak.

shiahhh, berapa lamak ndak sik masok blog kah? busy lalu ngan idup miak form 3. PMR gik taun tok -.-

bah, ngelamak aku sik update blog tok la, aku cerita smua kejadian kejadian nyakit ati. sikdala semua nyakit ati, sorang jak nyakit bena bena. rasa ditikam k piso jak jantung aku d polah anak ya. anak sapa ndak aku sik tauk.

ada sigek jak perkara belegar legar d palak otak aku nektok. Hafizul Aizad b. Mohd Nor. entah, camya ka nama dr IC nya, lupak aku. anak tok, best friend aku dolok. nak apa entah nya tunggah aku sekatinya la. yang ku tauk, dolok aku penah suka ngan nya. aokkkk aku ngakuk. p nektok sikda gik la, ku happy ngan bos aku Mohamad Azmil :)

cerita Hafizul tok (kamek orang tunggah Ejad jak), nang nyakit ati aku. pada suatu hari, aku pun siktauk apa kenak ngan anak ya sampe aku ngan geng sik dilayan bait bait kedak dolok. manas lalu jak muka nangga mek orang. eh apa jak la. di tanyak ngan si Udin, Udin padah siktauk. Udin tok bespren nya, sejak bila? tahun tok kali? Udin tok bait, humble n suka polah orang tetak. Ejad tok layan orang lain bagei kamek orang tok bukan bespren nya. alahai, hati mano tak teraso kalau dibuat gitu sekali?

so aku pun sik layan nya. pake pa ku layan orang setengah tiang camya? mun kitak orang mok tauk, aku sik kesah gilak mun orang sik layan aku. bulak jak! heee;) i mean, mun orang tetiba sik layan aku, aku nang kecik ati. aku pun sik layan orang ya balit sampe la nya tego aku. ariya, aku, Ejad, Flavio (bespren Ejad sejak bila? aku siktauk) ngan Quin kelaie d bengkel khb. time ya gik da raptai pake concert d skolah. nak apakah c Flavio tang tiba nganok orang eksen? aie, nang aku eksen. aku sik mok orang pijak palak aku.

start dari ya la kamek orang bermusoh dengan Ejad. penah sekalik nya tanyak aku, 'Gee, apa ku denga tak orang nyindir nyindir aku gee?' shiahhh aku sikmok lepas peluang, aku padah, 'Aok, nang. kau pahal sik layan mek orang?' and then nya padah, 'aku mok carik kawan baru ba.. kitak orang boleh carik sikkan ku sik boleh?'

pak cik hafizul, fyi, u.p.a (untuk pengetahuan anda) kamek orang carik kawan baru sik main lupak kawan lamak. mun kau sik suka nangga mek orang tok rapat gilak ngan orang lain, time ya la mulut berperanan memberitahu kami orang bahawa anda puas hati ka tidak. kau padah kamek orang suka nganok orang lain. oi ku tanyak kau lok. perempuan neyyyyyyyyy sik nganok orang lain? ya natural. bagus laaa mun kau dah jumpa pompuan nak sik nganok pompuan lain. ku salute. now, you cuba cari. kalau tak dapat, gua terajang lu biar 'terhempas' dekat Laut China Selatan.

kamek orang nang sayang kau. sebagai seorang kawan yg suka polah orang tetak. tp entah kenak kau berubah cam tok. MUN SIK MOK SAKIT HATI, IBOH NGESAK HATI ORANG. ada paham ka? aku sik suka di halang polah apa ku mok. aku sik suka orang comment jaik jaik tentang aku or kawan kawan ku. KAU pun sikmok nak? so shut up la. since aku di anok last year oleh best friend ku kedirik juak, aku sikmok di palat agik.

now, Hafizul Aizad, sukati kepalak otak kau mok polah apa. aku gik da hidup, and aku mok spend nya dengan family aku, bos aku n geng aku. aku sik perlu kau, kau sik pelu aku.

pas tok, apa mok jadi, jadi lah. tp think before you act, think before you say and do what you're supposed to do. jangan sakitkan hati kawan yg penah anggap kau abang, adik or best friend sidaknya. maklum la kamek orang tok semua pompuan... ko pike mek orang takut ka? haiiishhh.

malas aku. bah, udah ku bercerita tentang kau. kepak aku. bye;)

Hello world :D

hello guys :) sorry didnt update much! To Dayak people out there,

Selamat Hari Gawai Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai yuuu :) sorry late wish, -.-


Take care all of you! And I'm taken, lovelyyyy :D so happppppppppppppeyyyyyyyyyy





I love Mohamad Azmil :)